Friday, June 29, 2012

theCONFUSION STORY

Michael Scondotto — bassist for CONFUSION, singer for INHUMAN & THE LAST STAND

Once Upon A Time...

it was another typical morning train ride; man-bag on my lap, shades on my face & headphones over my ears –on blast, as I nap my way to work.

Suddenly, I was awakened as I felt like someone tapped-me but it's probably the bumps n' nudges you get from ppl getting-up & sitting-down from the subway seats. As always, I periodically peep outside the subway window –as to not miss my stop. Then I awoken to hear some crazy, manic noise that's making its way through my "noise-cancelling" Bose® headphones...I turn my head behind to see one of those crazy Spanish moms trying to discipline 5 kids (all literally less than a year apart — can we say, "Child support scam?!").

As I look-up and analyze at the kids, they all seem pretty healthy & normal compared to the crackhead...oops...mother! She continues to bark orders at them, "Mira, mira...come sit here...next to Jose! No buta, chu listen to me when I speak to chu! I said sit next to Jose...closer...CLOSER...now Raquel, now chu sit next to Alexandria...etc."



Again, I do a 180° head-turn to see that the kids perfectly fine the way they were...WTF...it's the mom who's making them play musical chairs on a busy train ride during rush hour! I'm like, 'SMH' while the bald head dood in front of me is doing the same. He continues looking over my head to see the fiasco behind me; as I'm trying to find the right "hype" song on my iPod to finally "wake-up" to!

As I'm scrolling through my "impressive & vast" library of songs — being the nosy person I am, I peep-over to see what the bald-head dood is doing on his iPad and see that he's going through some sort of music program w/ a bunch of BLACK FLAG album covers. (NOTE: For those who don't know, BLACK FLAG (formed in California in 1976) is considered one of the first HARDCORE/PUNK bands which grew to "critical-acclaim" when the "infamous" Henry Rollins joined & fronted the band in 1981.)

The band's logo was created by artist Raymond Pettibon to symbolize their themes of rebellion and anarchy.
Its logo gained popularity amongst punk rockers and graffiti-heads in LA/NY.

As I began to observe the "so-called" bald-head dood, I noticed some of his arm tats, reverted to my secret CSI: NY undercover training, and began to put all-the-pieces-of-the-puzzle together.


Michael Scondotto (left) and the rest of his CONFUSION bandmates

Although I truly believe that God gave me a gift to in that, 'I never forget a face,' it's pretty difficult when the person who I'm referring to use to have long, blonde hair when he was the bassist for One of My Favorite Underground Deathcore Bands — CONFUSION from Brooklyn, NY.



This guy looks exactly like him but I wasn't completely sure...but if it is, then I was on the train w/ the "legendary" Mike Scondotto — a former-bassist for CONFUSION and lead singer of INHUMAN & THE LAST STAND; which is a reincarnation of my childhood boys' band called SHUTDOWN.


~The End~

Sunday, June 24, 2012

VIEW from PARKWAY DRIVE: IV

Once upon a time…I was trying my best to rest n’ recover from the previous night’s festivities and all I keep hearing was, “HURRY-UP GURRRL!” “LET’S GO ALREADY!” “GURL, WHAT ‘TIL YOU SEE THIS!” “COME ON SHA-NAY-NAY!!!” 
I’m like, “Who? What?? When??? Where???? Why?????”
I slid-out of bed like an old fart, slowly walked-over to my bedroom window w/ one-chinky-eye open and peeped through my black blinds, here’s a view from my “bootleg/wanna-be” penthouse apartment…


Pink Stretch Hummer

VIEW from PARKWAY DRIVE III

Once upon a time…after notifying the police and courts involved with the restraining order filed against my then “abuser/stalker,” they advised me to never disclose the location my current home or future whereabouts…which is why I don’t “check-in” to places and made sure the street signs are not legible from the “VIEW from PARKWAY DRIVE” photos! lol’s
Here’s a view from my “bootleg/wanna-be” penthouse apartment…
"X-ING SCHOOL" means "School Crossing Zone"

Misspelled Shcool Xing Sign in NYC - Repainted Over

VIEW from PARKWAY DRIVE II

Once upon a time…I looked-out-the-window only to see countless & hundreds of bicycles flying-by. I quickly stuck-my-head-out-the-window to see where this Bicycle Invasion was coming from, here’s a view from my “bootleg/wanna-be” penthouse apartment…

Cars & pedestrians couldn't cross the parkway –waiting approx. 10-15 mins.

VIEW from PARKWAY DRIVE: I

Once upon a time…it was a fine, sunny & warm Sunday afternoon…I was given a fine Cohiba –earlier in the week from my co-worker, and decided to light-that-baby-up! One of the few rules in the apartment is to do your best w/ smoke-control. You’re allowed to smoke -no question, but please do your best to minimize the spread of smoke; which thus minimizes the chance of lung cancer –courtesy of second-hand smoke.
As I went to the kitchen window, lifted-up-the-window so I can exhale the cigar smoke, here’s a view from my “bootleg/wanna-be” penthouse apartment…

Tour de Brooklyn is a fun-filled, family-friendly 18-mile bike tour, held every year the first Sunday after Memorial Day weekend, and is the grand finale to Bike Month.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

PERSONAL E-MAIL to the SENIOR CONTRIBUTOR of XXL MAGAZINE



     Hello Miss Amy Linden, how are you? -(Good I hope!) Let me sincerely introduce myself to you...my name is Kong, as in King Kong...lol...yes, it's my real name. Kong Moc to be exact. I am a 28 yr. old Chinese male who was born from Laos, came to the United States when I was 4 years old and lived in Brooklyn for most of my life..nice to meet you. I got your e-mail address from Michael Sayed. -(He works for Sahadi's in Brooklyn.) He said that he briefly mentioned me to you...you know, put in a good word; reference...and so, here I am. I know that you're the Senior Writer at XXL magazine...one of my favorite magazines! Like I said, pleased to meet you. I am an ex-employee of ICAP a.k.a. Garban Intercapital LLC/ ICAP Northwest. I was a Money Market Broker in the Fed Funds Dept. of the world's largest money brokerage firm. In other words, I'm a broker who helps buy and sell money for bank traders.

     To be totally honest with you, I guess I'm here to sell myself to you as a future co-worker...but most importantly, as a person. You see Amy, I LOVE to WRITE...and I LOVE MUSIC...knowing that you are my only hope of fulfilling my passion(s), I'm forced to tell you a story based on my own personal life. The following is real and I apologize if I come on too personal or too strong but I hope that you are...you know, cool and understanding.

     I am a World Trade Center survivor, we were in the 25th floor in the first Tower that got hit. I saved a copy of a letter written to my family, friends, and loved ones right after the incident but I have yet dare to read it again. My company: GARBAN -at the time, relocated to one of Bloomberg's office buildings -(one of the many refuges for 9/11 survivors) and then to an abandoned warehouse along the lower West Side Highway. Finally, we found a permanent home in Jersey City at Harborside Financial Center. As you and I know, after 9/11...the economy, business and financial world has been sluggish. Two of my co-workers, Dennis and Maria were laid-off after the tragedy and now, fast forward two years later...last Tuesday March 9th...I was laid-off by my company. My boss called me into his office while I was eating lunch and told me I was laid-off. I was to receive a severance pay until April 23rd and my medical insurance will end on April 30th. Today is Sunday, March 14th. I woke-up today around 9am and did some apartment cleaning. After that, I headed out to the gym to work-out. Upon returning home from the gym, I get an e-mail from an ex-co-worker -(who shall remain nameless) at around 1pm. The following is an unedited version of what was written to me:

The following is an unedited e-mail that I received:

Hey kong whats up. I wasn't sure which email was yours so I sent to all of the above. 
I wanted to let you know that you might have a case for wrongful termination against IXXX. RXXX fired you just so he could hire jXXXXXX back. since Feburary jXXX was emailing him asking him for her old job back. He could not do anything because we had no room for her. then near the end of feb, he told her he had to make room for her to come back. if gXXX didn’’t come back he could have hired her ,but with him back he had to get rid of a comparatable salary to bring her back. so he gets rid of you, and tells everyone that we are getting a new broker on monday but I know its her. I saw him send a email to her saying she was going to sit next to bXXXXXXXX. You have a series 7 and she does not. the only reason she is coming back is because she is bored at home and tells rXXX this all the time. she doesn’’t need this job you did. come monday everyone on the desk will see what rXXX did was f*cked up. I think you should do something about this. The fact that he re hired her is proof of discrimination on iXXX against you. its not like they hired a broker who is bringing in any account to replace you. You should try to pursue this before its too late. If you talk to a lawyer about this I am sure you will have a strong case. If I can get copies of the email it will be even stronger case against RXXX. Who is the mastermind behind this. His feelings for jXXX influenced him on this, she lives close to him and she visits him on weekends. Don’’t let this slide Kong you were f*cked over by RXXX and IXXX you cant let this go.Your case can be why did IXXX fire you, a broker who has a series 7 to re hire a woman who does not even have an acount to bring in? just because ross is infatuated with her you lost your job to her!! I will try to hack rXXX' emails from the last 2 weeks if you want. You can sue IXXX or threaten to sue and they will pay you money to avoid the bad publicity. If you don’’t want to do anything, that’’s up to you. I can call sommeone at eXXXXXXXXXX if you want to meet someone there. Either way let me know. Just don’’t say you got it from me or they will fire me. I think what you should do first is talk to a lawyer about this. or at least call rXXX and tell him you are thinking of going public with what he did. He knows what he did was wrong and would hate to read about it in the post.  
call me and let me know what you think later dude


     It’s exactly 11:56pm and I’ve been thinking long and hard about what I should do. But knowing myself, I could not go on for the rest of my life knowing that I lost my job of 4 & ½ years to discrimination. Earlier, I spoke to my best friend Peter Sayed -(Michael’s older brother) and he told me his guidance counselor from the State University at Albany -(my college!) is going through a similar situation and he has hired the "best lawyer in New York" in that particular field. I just got word that the guidance counselor will provide me with all the necessary information about his lawyer by Monday morning.

     Amy, I originally planned to write a brief introduction of myself to you but I’ve decided to fill you in and give you some insight on what I am going through at this very moment in my life. Writing gives us a chance to express ourselves and I would love to tell you when I first heard Kurtis Blow and The Fat Boys...how I was mesmerized by the dopeness and politicalness of Public Enemy and Ice-T... or how I danced, along with my childhood buddies in a Talent Show contest in junior high school trying to imitate Scoob & Scrap Lover -super-dancers extra ordinaire for the one and only, Big Daddy Kane. I would also like to get into the Golden Age of rap...’93 - ‘96...when Wu-Tang, Tupac and Biggie, Snoop and Dre, Nas, Mobb Deep and Jay-Z all help rule the rap kingdom. I would love to get into who’s the best producers out there right now? -Timberland vs. The Neptunes vs. Dr. Dre?? Or who’s the best rapper 50 Cent vs. Jay-Z vs. Nas??? "I can go at Nas and Jigga, both for the throne" -50 Cent.


Amy Linden - music journalist & senior contributor for The New York Times, Rolling Stone, Vibe, People, Entertainment Weekly, The Source, XXL, Village Voice, etc.

     I want to also tell you that I was a guitarist in a hardcore punk band called Overpower when I was 19 but decided to quit the band in pursuit of an education. Can you believe my band played a show and opened for The Beatnuts and Da Bush Babies at La’Mours in Brooklyn from back in the day?! The band eventually became Shutdown and they have put 2 full-length albums out on Victory Records. After I graduated from college, I contemplated on re-joining the band but with loans to pay, I decided on pursuing a career in the financial world. Although I have a great opportunity to make lots of money,  money is not of utmost importance to me. I rather be happy in life and deep in my heart, I know my "passion" lies in writing and music.

     One of my dreams has always been to write editorials and/or review albums for a hip-hop magazine and I would love to get into it with you but my mind is totally consumed with this wrongful termination case that I may be involved in. Amy, I am just a down-to-earth person who is petrified about what’s going on but knows he has to remain strong, focused and composed in order to fight the system. After all that's said and done, I am not totally writing this to you in hopes of getting my so-called ‘foot through the door’ but I hope I can also get to know you at least as a person and hopefully, as a friend and possibly -a mentor, because Michael told me that you were "maaad cool". Some feedback is much appreciated but at your time and leisure -of course!

      By the way, can you believe my girlfriend’s name is Amy too?! She is 1/2 Hawaiian and 1/2 Puerto Rican and is a struggling part-time model and fashion designer who was the lead girl in the 112 feat. Supercat "Na, Na, Na" video. In order to make some extra-cash, she also does the guest list -(doorgirl) for celebrity parties for such artists like P. Diddy, Usher, Kelis, Jay-Z, Britney Spears, The Neptunes. Reason for me telling you all this? That the hip-hop culture has affected me one way or another and I've always seem to have some sort of ties to it. And since I love to write, I was born to write for a hip-hop magazine!!


     Again, being that I am a total stranger to you...I would like to apologize if this e-mail was too personal. I am hoping for a reply but only at your earliest convenience. I will keep you posted on what's going on if you're interested...if not, have a great day and keep smiling. Thank you so much for your time, I hope to hear from you soon. Take care.




[UPDATE: Amy provided a heart-felt response and advised me that the media industry isn't what it use to be and is on a downward spiral — perhaps due to the emergence of the internet (magazines, newspapers and publications are slowly being phased-out) — regardless, my contact w/ her was definitely a life-altering/life-changing moment in my life...an experience that I will always cherish and respect. In hindsight, the corporate world is synonymous with profit and greed — proving that no one in the corporate industry should be trusted!]

Monday, June 18, 2012

LOVE vs. HATE: VOL. 3




1. I love it when your alarm clock goes off & you're slowly getting up for f*ckin' work -(grrrreat!) but then take a second to gather yourself & clear your mind because you just realized it's SATURDAY!! -(Woooo-hoooooo...as you're doing three back-flips in a row & then a somersault & that leads into a inverted handstand! Lol)

2. I hate it when it rains & you're forced buy those cheap black, umbrellas that you'll probably never use again. -(Cheap sh*t!)

3. I love it when you go home to your parent's house & they have like almost unlimited everything in the fridge -compared to your rotten eggs, bread that already expired, water & Arm & Hammer baking soda.

4. I hate it when you're on the express train then all of a sudden the conductor announces that the train is running local and all you keep seeing are these stops that you never f*ckin' heard of...Kosciuszko St., Van Siclen Ave., Alabama Ave., Sutphin Blvd. Whaaaaaaaaaa-aat?! WTF?!?

5. I love it when you're knocked the F out in bed & then your partner wakes you up with his/her tongue –(use your imagination) and you're about to have sex...AGAIN!!! Woop-wooooop!! LOL

6. I hate when you're knocked the F out & you partner tries to wake you up cuz they want more sex but you're too God damn tired for nookie…just pretend you're still sleeping, rollover & say hello to my back!! Lol's

7. I love it when help a lil' ol' lady across the street because you feel like a Good Samaritan and think all the bad & evil things you've done has been forgiven & forgotten! Amen!! Lol

8. I hate it when you just agreed to walk an old lady across the street and she's literally close to death & it feels like you're escorting a sloth across the god-damn street...one centimeter, two centimeter...somebody shoot me! Better yet, CAR PLEASE RUN ME OVER!! Lol's

9. I love it when the girl -(you've been sweatin' like crazy) looks over at you & you're like, "Me? Me??" and then she looks away -(nooooo!) but then looks back w/ like the prettiest smile that you've ever seen! KOWA-BUNGAAAAAAAA-AA!! I'm on cloud nine!) :o)

10. I hate it when you have the worst toothache in the whole wide world & you just look at & treat everyone w/ such disdain!#$%?!

Sunday, June 17, 2012

BATMAN: THE DARK KNIGHT (2008) MOVIE REVIEW



BATMAN: THE DARK KNIGHT (2008) -starring- Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, Aaron Eckhart, Maggie Gyllenhaal & Morgan Freeman. Directed by Christopher Dolan.

There is no question about it, Batman: The Dark Knight (2008) is definitely the greatest comic book/superhero movie ever made but to be touted as one of the greatest movies ever made is a slight overstatement. Don't get me wrong, this was an action-packed, extremely powerful and intelligent movie w/ surreal and Best Supporting Actor Oscar-worthy performance from the late-Heath Ledger R.I.P. (as the Joker) and Aaron Eckhart as (Harvey Dent) but better than The Godfather, Scarface, Braveheart and Gladiator? I think not.

The cinematography -as usual, was top-notch. The movie's soundscape was deafeningly amplified, gripping and intense…the background composition played out perfectly during the riveting and demented 'villian speaking to the camera (audience)' scenes from the Joker. The cityscape sequences filmed w/ IMAX technology and overall massive scale of the whole movie was Hollywood at it's best!



The Dark Knight is the continuation of British director Christopher Nolan's reinvention of the Batman's storied franchise and it takes the story up to his primal confrontation with the Joker, the super villain with dried and smeared painted-on mask equipped with grotesque slash-scars at the corners of his mouth. Nolan's stellar cast has returned – Christian Bale, Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine and Gary Oldman (who adapts perfectly to the comic role of Lt. Gordon, before his historic promotion to "Commissioner" status) with the addition of Heath Ledger and Aaron Eckhart. The only missing piece here is Katie Holmes. While one might think it wouldn't be a great loss, for whatever reason, her otherwise 'supposed' impressive replacement, Maggie Gyllenhaal, seemed out of place here. In all honesty, and I will be blunt…b*tch is pretty ugly and isn't at all convincing as the love of Batman's life.



My favorite actor: Bale is once again Batman/Bruce Wayne, perfect for the role of a man who is a stranger to himself and only comes alive when he pretends to be someone or something else. Wayne seems even cockier and Playboy-ish this time around, but most noticeably, his voice when he's in the Batman costume is much deeper and somewhat guttural. It seems odd at first, but does manage to lose its strange factor as the movie progresses and the film's tone itself gets darker and darker.

He has a perfect foil in the late Heath Ledger's Joker, a psychotic, sarcastic motor mouth…a master of mayhem, he is an unpredictable character who's performance is menacing to say the least! He is the epitome of what The Joker is at his most effective—and he says it himself…an "agent of chaos." Ledger is insanely good and terrifyingly scary in a tour de force performance in which he has incorporated a weird collection of tics and twitches, kinks and quirks as his tongue seems to roll around in his mouth like a creepy lizard. Ledger could have written his own ticket after this outing, had he lived. A young Marlon Brando would have echoed throughout theatres across the world.


 

† R.I.P. Heath Ledger 1979 – 2008 R.I.P. †

Interestingly enough, an uncanny performance was also rendered by Aaron Eckhart, a handsome, dashing district attorney who believes that the rule of law has to be upheld by a democratically accountable person, not some shadowy figure of the night. Eckhart does an impeccable job portraying Harvey Dent as an Idealist, a crusader for justice that isn't exactly ready for the task in front of him. Like Batman, Dent has to make difficult decisions balancing his personal anger and ambition vs. the best interests for Gotham City.


 

The movie's minor downfall is the complicated and unwieldy scripts, at times -impossible plots to follow. A bit far-fetched how a man with a painted face can seize and take-over an entire city and brainwash those in his way but then again, it is a comic book story. Initially, the story unwinds with poise keeping up with the "A" elements, however –at around midway, the script skids out of control. Silly twists and turns, new and very absurd "out-of-place" story plots are introduced; diluting the production and destroying some otherwise well-earned momentum. It's a long movie anyway, but after the midpoint, it just begins to feel relentless; rather than reveling in it, forgive me for saying this but my lil' Chinese butt cheeks were starting to hurt and I looked forward to the closing credits.

Other than that, it was still a 'larger-than-life' comic book/crime-thriller experience to remember especially with the mesmerizing and spellbinding performance by the late-great Heath Ledger. It's an accomplished, thoroughly satisfying, edge-of-your-seat suspenseful, "high-end" commercial entertainment whose action rises out of "well-crafted" action & drama. Two thumbs way up...the best movie of the year!

96 out of 100

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

JOKE of the DAY 1.0


Kong: Hey, what's your e-mail addy?

Fred T.: wrong person

Kong: Is this not Fred? If it isn't, I apologize and will delete this contact #

Fred T.: yea it's fred but u called me addy

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

theGIORGINO STORY


theGIORGINO STORY

Once Upon A Time...

...my childhood boy: Marcelo a.k.a. Ceelo walked-up to greet his childhood buddy — Jorge one summer night in front of a NYC hot spot — SPOTLIGHT LIVE, "Wassup Jorge, long time bro!"

Jorge ushered Ceelo to the side-of-the-club and adamantly demands, "Yo man, it's not Jorge anymore — it's Giorgino — that's my new promoting name!"

~ The End ~

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA-hahahahahaha-haha!!

And ppl thought promoting got to my head?!
HA!

theKYRIE IRVING STORY

Tolan, Kong & Drederick

Once Upon A Time...

...I had been recently "laid-off" from my dream corporate job — only to find-out several weeks later (I received an eye-opening/jaw-dropping e-mail from an ex-broker/co-worker) that the Department Manager schemed a way to get me fired, just so he can hire a blonde intern.


"Blasphemy!"

As the corrupt n' shady story unfolded, my boss was supposedly "in-love" w/ a blonde intern and wanted to "make room" for her...

...in order to do so, he had to get rid of someone that she can can conveniently replace at the brokerage firm.


Harborside Financial Center – brand-new building/workplace after the horrific 9/11 disaster

Shortly after being "laid-off" (as stipulated in the termination letter), a former co-worker "X-XXX" (a cool yet somewhat mischievous, nosy & tech-savvy Puerto Rican-American broker-trader) leaked inside information to me that my gray-haired boss (a 59 yr-old pervert) was e-mailing and instant messaging a blonde intern (22 yr-old college grad) non-stop for several weeks before I was "let go" — technically, I was "released" due to poor economic conditions and became a causality of corporate "downsizing."

My co-worker actually suggested that I get a hold of those e-mails — in efforts to sue the company for 'wrongful termination!' After contemplating, I took his advice and contacted a fellow co-worker from the company's IT Dept.


Ironically, he was able to get a hold of these flirtatious e-mails; which promised the intern that he was going to get rid of a Junior Broker (that's me) just so he can hire her.


Kyrie Irving | #2 | PG | Cleveland Cavaliers — 2012


To make a long story shorter...

...we agreed to privately meet under his conditions. And so, I took the Path Train to a remote suburban station in New Jersey — where my co-worker scooped-me-up and drove me to one of his closest boy's home in Orange, NJ.


Story unfolds... 

...can you believe his boy turned-out to be Drederick Irving (the former "all-time" leading scorer at Boston University from 1984-1988 and also a MVP at Rucker Park)?!



Drederick Irving's "homemade" trophy mantle

Besides from being a college hoops legend, Drederick was ironically also Bond Analyst at a prestigious international brokerage firm! We all chilled, kicked-back and relaxed in his backyard and/or basement — apologies, for I can't remember exactly where we hung-out (for I had more than a few brewskis)!

Anyways, we all chilled and conversed (in depth) about the options and possible courses of action I should take w/ this potential lawsuit.




Galactical story unfolds...

...I woke-up this afternoon & checked-out the Daily News to see this as their cover story:


WHY IS DREDERICK IRVING THE FATHER OF #1 NBA DRAFT PICK OF 2011 — KYRIE IRVING?!?!


Looking back in hindsight, I remember Drederick Irving telling me that his son is practicing free-throws in the backyard. As a basketball aficionado myself, I wanted to go out there and shoot-around but Tolan brought me over for a reason and I wanted to strategize w/  these older gods!









Never in my wildest dreams did I think a casual meeting w/ a courageous and reputable co-worker would turn into an actual meeting w/ a father of a NBA prodigy! It's sort of like me saying I chilled w/ John Wall, Blake Griffin & Derrick Rose's pops! #CRAZY

~The End~

MY DAD a.k.a. PING-PONG LEGEND

Recently discovered — my Dad [middle/upper-row] the soccer player

Back in the day...

...my Dad was a man of many talents.

Sous Chef
As a young adult, he started-off as a pot-washer, then he quickly moved-up the ranks to waiter status...on his way to becoming a Sous Chef. Cooking was his profession but his favorite "past-time" was ping-pong a.k.a. table tennis.

Around the mid-1960's, my Dad was the #1 ranked table tennis player in Laos; a small country in Southeast Asia. He was featured in various black n' white magazines and newspaper articles. At a time when ping-pong was still in its early stages as a competitive national sport, my father's game was nothing but raw power.

Although small in stature, my Dad's game was simply power & speed. Spinning did not over-take the sport until the early-70's and during my father's era...he was known as a power hitter...his signature move; the forehand smash was unmatched! 

Every time he would strike with his forehand, he stomped his feet so loud -it would echo throughout the arena...that was his signature move. His crazy Bruce Lee + women's tennis-like grunting sounds was also of epic proportions...he was a unique character in the sport....a joy to watch during competition.

While the offensive/defensive stroking game advanced to a point where spinning the ball is the main criteria/focus in today's game...back in the day, my Dad's game was to overpower his opponent with kills after kills!


My father utilized the "pen-hold grip" which grips the racket similarly to the way one holds a writing instrument. I'll never forget -when I was around 10 yrs old.; I use to go watch my Dad play every Saturday in Chinatown after I was done with Chinese school. Because he use to grip and execute his smashes with such excessive force, the ping-pong paddle that he uses had two major dents on the back of it. It sort of looked like a sculpture spending years scraping the wood (where his fingers were positioned) from from back of the paddle.

Believe or not? 

Believe it.
 
Unfortunately, Laos did not appear in the Olympics until 1980. By then, my dad was 35 and past his prime. There's awards, medals and trophies all over my parent's house. He continues to play in numerous annual senior tournaments in Chinatown and Queens; which has the largest table tennis community in New York.

At age 64, he is no longer at the top of his game. But his game has evolved....he spent the past decade trying to learn the "new-age" of table tennis which utilizes various spinning techniques such as loops, hooks, chops, lobs, drop-shots, topspin, etc.


Every so often my Mom gives me packets of Ramen noodles from the cases that my Dad wins for finishing 2nd & 3rd place in ping-pong tournaments. My Dad is still active...he continues to receive friendly lessons from some of Chinatown's best table tennis players and watches videotapes & DVD's of today's grand-masters to help him improve his game.

LOVE vs. HATE: VOL. 2


  • I LOVE IT when having a bad f*ckin' day then all of a sudden you get a phone call from that certain *special* someone that makes you wanna do a triple-somersault that leads into a flip & a triple salchow...a PERFECT-10! LOL's
  • I HATE IT when the signal for your train is coming & you're scramblin' to pull-out your Metrocard...got it!! But when you swipe the card — the turnstyle machine reads, "INSUFFICIENT FARE"!!!! (Mo'f'ckin' c*ck-s*cker!!!)
  • I LOVE IT when you see your ex-girl/boyfriend w/ their new love and that "new love" looks butt-ugly...LMAO...I don't give a flying-f*ck if dood/doodette makes more money than me, has a better job than me or is more educated...they're f*ckin' UGLY!! (That's it — end of story!) I feel good as hell!! Lolololololol's (Ohhh my stomach hurts! "Breathe in, breathe out!")
  • I HATE IT when someone bumps into you on the train, bus or street & when you turn around, you see a person w/ those huge mo'f*ckin' hiking backpack the size of BOULDER — it's like they have a Siamese Twin attached to them...WTF?! LOL
  • I LOVE IT when the New York Yankees can go after almost anyone on the MLB Free Agent Market because they have most unlimited money & unlimited top prospects in their farm system. :o)
  • I HATE IT when you see your boy & give him the "soul brotha" handshake only to get a slimey, wet, nasty handshake from them...come on mo'f'cker!!! Lol
  • I LOVE IT when you're about to get into a fight in a club/bar and all of a sudden your boys -(about 10-12 n*ggas deep) surround the other doods & his 3 boys...WHAAAAAAAA-AAT N*GGA?! WHUT?!? LOL's
  • I HATE IT when you have a HUGE-A$$ ZIT the size of a softball & the person you're with breaks out a basket & goes, "Yippeeee, your zit is ripe for the picking!!" Ewww lol
  • I LOVE IT when you come home exhausted from a long day's work -(heated at the world) and your dog comes running-to-you like he hasn't seen you in months -(more like 6 hrs) & starts licking your face like there's no tomorrow.. .ohhhhhhhh, give me love poochie! lol
  • I HATE IT when you're on your cell on an important phone call & you hear that dreaded "battery is dying" beep.. .oh sh*t! I forgot to charge my phone maaang!!

Monday, June 11, 2012

theMAXI-PAD STORY

Once upon a time...my Mom called me on a Sunday evening around 9pm & told me to come to Dad's Senior Citizen Social Club in Chinatown because he's real sick & won't be able to drive home...I frantically called my cabbie-boy & we got there in 30 mins. Dad was mad dizzy n' pale & kept vomiting...looked like food poisoning to me (for I had it twice & was in the presence of 3 other ppl w/ it)...I drove my parents home, piggy-backed Pops to the crib, called my Life-Line who told me to get banana + bread & plenty of rest...long-story shorter, Mom & I fought over her wanting to pay for the $25 cab ride but she won by putting in my wind-breaker jacket BUT also found a Maxi-Pad in the pocket! (She was probably like, "WTF?!" in Chinese!)

~The End~

WHY I DON'T DANCE



Anyone & everyone who know me...who really, truly knows me — knows that I don't dance...and WHY IS THAT?

CIRCLE THE BEST ANSWER BELOW:

1. Asian guys can't dance

2. I'm too cool to dance

3. I'm flat-footed

4. I'm bold-legged

5. My Mom told me way back when I was a wee toddler –that if I ever danced w/ a girl, I would turn -to- STONE...and one night, when I was out on the dance floor GRINDIN'...I felt something get HARD, so I STOPPED ever since!

Thursday, June 7, 2012

theTHANKSGIVING STORY


Once upon a time, not too long ago...

...I was heading to my Thanksgiving Eve Party @ M2: ULTRA LOUNGE feat. TREY SONGZ Birthday Bash along w/ DJ CLUE & DJ CAMILO. The event was $40 advanced tickets only and the Promotional Director told the promoters & hosts that no one is getting "comped" unless it's your immediate family member or girlfriend. And so, I took Jasmine Fox as my "wanna-be" girlfriend and got her in for free. Please note, I've been promoting M2 for approx. 10 months and believe me when I tell you I never, ever seen M2 packed that early at 12am (midnight)...it was a f'in zoo!


After gettin' drinks at the bar, I proceeded to take Jasmine up to the DJ booth to bug-out w/ the opener: DJ JAPANESE DEE (the most humble DJ in the industry; maybe because his English isn't too good lol j.k.) but whatever the case, we was chillin' up there and then DJ CLUE eventually came to set-up. I began taking pics of the people backstage and I bumped into a RIHANNA "wanna-be" (pic attached). One side of the stage got so packed that I decided to take Jazz to the other side...a few minutes later, Sophia Marie (RIHANNA) came over to us and asked, "Is it cool if I hang-out w/ you?" I'm like, "Of course!" Duh.


I then asked who she was here with and she told me that DJ CLUE personally invited her but since he's spinnin' -she had no one to chill with. So, I literally had an on-stage photo session w/ Jasmine Fox & Sophia Marie.

To make a long story a bit shorter, I planned on bouncing to D'OR at exactly 1:30am because I had my #1 Female Baller client: Wanda poppin' mad bottles and complaining via texts that I wasn't there! lol I felt mad guilty but I didn't want to leave! lololol's ---> I told her that TREY SONGZ's staff were holdin' my homegirls hostage on-stage and I couldn't leave yet. (Bad Kong!)



Anyways, after more texts complaints I knew I had to leave and so I jumped into a yellow cab at around 3am! =/ I got there around 3:15am and apologized like crazy to Wanda but she was cool...all was good! At the end of the night -upon leaving D'OR, I was gonna meet-up w/ the crew at Cafeteria but then I bumped into a white girl who was crying her eyes-out on the sidewalk -around the corner from D'OR. I asked what was wrong & if she was ok and she was like, "My friends just left me...I was at TOUCH and got into a huge fight w/ my boyfriend...he had my car keys and drove my car home...I left my purse in my car and have no way of calling anyone or getting home!" I'm like, "WHAAA-AAT?!" So, I gave her my cell and she made a call to her moms who is a police dispatcher and she was sending some cops over to pick-her-up. I asked her if she wanted me wait for her, come to Cafeteria or get driven close to the Verrazano Bridge....but she said she'd be "okay."

Alrighty then, I was about to walk away but thought to myself, is she really gonna be "okay" and so I reached into my pocket and took out $2 bucks...in case she needed to make a phone call...then I gave her another $3 dollars...in case she wanted something to eat. lol

Fast forward to Wednesday, December 9th, 2009, I received a message on Facebook:

Jenna F. December 9 at 11:41am

Hey I honestly don't know if you would remember me or not but we met on thanksgiving eve I was the crazy girl stranded in the city crying with no phone or money lmao. I just want you to know you really saved my life that night and you don't know how much I appreciate it. Sorry it took so long for me to contact you I just found the business card you gave me. Thank you again!!!

~The End~

LOVE -vs- HATE: VOL. 1

LOVE -vs- HATE: VOL. 1
  • I LOVE IT how when the person you're having an intense argument with admits that he/she is 'wrong' when in actuality, he/she is 'right' LOL's (S.U.C.K.A.)
  • I HATE IT when your psycho-ex calls & leaves msgs -(esp. after you've completely cut-them-off for more than a few years) and says, "They moved on w/ their lives & that they've found someone else & that they're so happy now" -(So why do they still continue to stalk you and still continue to leave crazy, deranged & psychotic msgs?! For God's sake, please, PLEASE seek some mental help: 1-800-MENTAL-HELP -or- 1-800-STALK-ME-NOT
  • I LOVE IT when one SEXY-A$$ MAMI personally e-mails you racy pics of her photo session last night w/ King magazine!
  • I HATE IT when you're on the train -dozing off...literally nodding-off on the train but then all of a sudden, you have horns & trumpets blasting in your ears & guitar strings strumming w/ 3 Mexican guys w/ 3 HUGE sombreros that starts playing & singing in your face, "Feliz Navi Da" -(In the middle of Summer?! Afwaaaa-aat?!?)



  • I LOVE IT when you rockin' a brand-new pure-white Versace shirt & Polo Ralph Lauren jeans that you just copped earlier in the day BEFORE posin' w/ a Playboy Playmate — feelin' totally FRESH TA' DEATH!! -(It's a good feeling I must say!)
  • I HATE IT when you have a date tomorrow and you have a HUGE zit the size of a baseball & your lil' bro comes up to you and wants to play catch w/ it!!!! LOL's
  • I LOVE IT when you find a $20 bill in one of your jean pockets right before you're about to wash your clothes, "OHHH YEEEAAA-AA!! YIPPEEEEE-EE!!"
  • I HATE IT when you're at McDonald's and waiting for the cashier to say, "Welcome to McDonald's, can I take your order?" w/ a BIG-A$$ smile ONLY to find the only [BLEEP] w/ a GRUMPY-A$$ face that seems like they're saying, "Welcome to McDonald's…won't you please KILL ME NOW?!"
  • I LOVE IT when you think a woman/man's not feeling you and you're about to give-up but then you get a miraculous call saying that they lost your number and found-it by getting-it from a mutual friend!! "Oh, what a feeling! When we're dancing on the ceiling!!" — Lionel Richie
  • I HATE IT when you're about to peel what looks to be a nice, ripe and yellow banana only to find those nasty, rotten spots on the inside! –(EWWW-www-ww!!)

MAD MAN ON CAMPUS

Before I became a Fed Funds/Money Market broker at GARBAN ICAP -One of the World’s Largest Money Brokerage Firms.

Before I started my own nightlife promotions company called, "www.theKONGLIST.com"

Before I became an Executive Assistant to a Senior Managing Director of a Money Management Firm at First Manhattan Co.

Before I became an Investor Service Analyst for the Real Estate Dept. at Morgan Stanley.

Before I became the Public Relations Director at US Gold Buyers, Inc.

Before all that…my very, very first paying job was as a receptionist at the State University at Albany’s Nuclear Accelerator Lab!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I would check-into the Nuclear Accelerator Laboratory after classes and serve as a receptionist to visiting nuclear engineering professors from other colleges & institutions. At times, I would have to go downstairs to the sub-level basement and print-out huge colloquium posters for seminars and meetings. Upon entering the sub-level basement, I would see eerie & demented nuclear physicists w/ receding hairlines & huge coke bottle glasses working w/ space suits & gloves!



I would also see walls upon walls of super-computer-machines that looked like something straight from the movie -Star Wars! I was even given a customized badge that would check the radiation levels on my body…come to think of it, I do recall seeing it reach BIOHAZARDOUS levels at one point…oh well, I’m just lucky I turned out to be normal...lol



Normality!!

I AM NORMAL!!!


PERFECTLY NORMAL!!!!


I am sane!


normal - NORMAL - normal

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