Tuesday, September 25, 2012

theDATE FROM HELL STORY

theDATE-FROM-HELL-STORY


Once upon a time...I was on my first date w/ a rather HOT girl w/ the only B E E P –who I met at a HUGE "Afterwork" Party on the West Side Highway. She was the type of girl that managers/promoters wanted to bring into V.I.P. — but is also one of those who plays "hard-to-get" like she's too fly for your "V.I.P." section. 

Upon waiting for her arrival, I was sippin' on a $24 pomegranate mojito at One of the Most Expensive Asian-Fusion Restaurants in NYC! I was there early after doing OT from work and when she arrived –we had one of those, "Sorry, we're not ready to order yet...can you please give us a more few minutes?" <--- "Few mins." turned into 20 mins. lol



Since we were so consumed w/ each other's initial convos, we felt guilty for not even looking-over the menu so when the offended waiter came-over for a third-time, we just ordered a Prix fixe dinner :: complete meal offered at a fixed price. As I got-up to excuse myself, the irritated waiter stops me in my tracks and said, "Bottle menu sir?" I replied, "I'll leave that in her hands..." and excused myself to the bathroom.

After finishing-up in the potty, I get back to the table and began fiddling-around w/ the bottle menu...out-of-sheer-curiosity...I opened-it-up and saw the ASTRONOMICAL prices, "Gulp!" I must have made a scene while gazing upon the GALACTICAL prices and that's when the exasperated waiter comes-over, "Is there something you would like on the menu?" I stutter, "Um, uh...I think she was going to order...?" He abruptly replies w/ a HUGE Kool-Aid smile, "Oh, she already did."

Jordan, Alexander Valley, California (2007) - 120
Cliff Lede, Napa Valley, California (2008) - 130
Joseph Phelps, Napa Valley, California (2008) - 133
Chimney Rock, Stag’s Leap, California (2007) - 150
Ghost Block, Oakville, California (2008) - 170
Delille Cellar, Grand Ciel, Washington State (2004) - 250
Cliff Lede “Poetry”, Stags Leep, California (2008) - 300 
Napa Valley, California (2006) - 365
Mayacamus, Napa Valley, California (1991) - 375
Harlan Estate, Napa Valley, California (2003) - 725

After the awkward exchange, I was SPACED-OUT for the rest of dinner. To make a long story shorter, the dreaded bill came...[the moment the world has been waiting for]...I opened-up the restaurant server book and wanted to vomit in my mouth: $508.35! I began seething but calmly asked, "Did you really ordered that...(Ghost Block (2008) - 170)" She replied w/ a smile, "No, I did not...I told the waiter to pick something he would recommend for the both of us."


MORAL of the STORY:

 Remember to always treat your server w/ the utmost respect, never act like you have unlimited funds (unless you are a "baller") and never, ever let a woman order the wine.


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