Thursday, September 20, 2012


Colombiana Pelirroja

Once upon a time...I was so "in-love"...well, I thought I was...with this Colombian girl and one day, she got into a horrific car accident. I found-out that she was in the hospital and needed someone to come pick-her-up after being cleared to leave the hospital. As much as I wanted to go, Game 7 of the 2001 World Series between the New York Yankees vs. Arizona Diamondbacks was set to begin! It was pain-staking decision but being the nice guy that I am, "Sigh!" I decided to put-on my "driving shoes" (literally), grabbed the car keys & headed to the garage to pull-out the "new" 2001 Honda Civic Ex.

2001 Honda Civic Ex - Silver Sedan

Being that it's a new car parked in an unfamiliar garage, I wasn't accustomed to backing-out –in reverse, from of One of the Most Narrow Garage Drive-ways Ever...I –Kong Blog, must KONGFESS...I scratched the right rear's quarter panel w/ the scuff marks the size of 4 fingers.

Anyways, I drove to Bronx-Lebanon Medical Center to pick-up the car accident victim and sadly, she looked like an emotional wreck! After hugging & consoling her in the hospital lobby, I walked her to my car. One of the first things she said was, 'Are you sure you can drive? I'm really traumatized so please drive carefully..." 

Traffic Circle

Being that I was an inexperienced driver at the time, my act of kindness transformed into One of the Most Terrifying Car Rides of Her Life! She said I had a lead foot and that I was inches away from slamming into other vehicles while switching lanes! I don't really know about all that but what did remember was driving into an on-coming "traffic circle" like a mad man! Honestly, I never drove on one was so much fun...I felt like Jeff Gordon in the Indy 500! When I asked for directions –more specifically, when to exit the "traffic circle?" She had her head down in her lap, praying for 'Calgon, to take her away!' Since she was acting like a Drama Queen...mind you that this was all happening during the World Series...I prolonged the childhood dream of racing in the Indianapolis 500 and drove around the "traffic circle" close to a dozen times! "Weeeeeeeeeee-ee!"

Adriana Lima

When she put her head-up, she looked at me in amazement and screamed, "WHA THE F*CK ARE YOU DOING?!" I yelled back, "I'M GOING FOR THAT CHECKERED FLAG B*TCH!"

~The End~

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