Tuesday, February 12, 2013

theDIRTY WEED STORY

View from across the Parkway

Once Upon A Time... 

...the girl I was dating made plans to stay-over for the weekend. I can not tell a lie, I went to panic-mode and began cleaning the apartment like a mad man.

The weekend came and she called, 'Hey Daddy! Well, you told me to call you -instead of text, when I got on the Parkway...well, I'm on the Parkway!'

"Okay cool. I'm coming down. Alright, bye."

As I started walking down the second of six flights of stairs, she called again, 'Daddy, what am I going to do with the cab?'

"Don't worry, I told you I got it."

'Ok. um, but why did you ask me to call you?'

"Oh, I just wanted to hear your voice."

When she arrived, I took care of the yellow cab and grabbed her bags & luggage (Hello Kitty).

Hello?
Come again.

When she entered the apartment, she says, 'Wow, someone's been cleaning!'

After she settled-in, we ordered "authentic" Chinese food and a nice bottle of red wine.

Perfect bubble-butt — soft,
round & cushionie
She got a lil' comfy and took-off her Levi's and slipped-into green booty shorts.

I couldn't stop...

...she then got-up and abruptly sat down on the wooden floors. 

I yelled, "Chill, don't sit on the floor — the floors are dirty!"

She replies, 'No worries Daddy, I always sit at my place.'


"Pick me up!"
She was totally glued to Adventure Time for most of the morning but then she eventually notices the dusty floors, 'Ew. The floor is very dirty, what...did you forget about it?'

"No silly," and proceeded to tell her a story...

...back up in college, we use to smoke like crazy but it got bad -real bad, when we went dry.

We would wildly ransack, rummage and scour every inch and every crevice of the "off-campus" house for a spec...a grain...a dot of herbal remification...to no avail.

But now, since we're all so much older — young, working professionals...I find some of the sickest buds known to mankind on my dirty-ass floors...which is why I don't clean them.

~The End~

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