Thursday, May 16, 2013


Miss Soto

Once upon a time... 

...I met a girl from Miami through MySpace. After a month, she decided to fly-up or fly-down (whatever your preference is) to see me. I called my company's car service account — a black Lincoln Town Car picked-me-up as I'm off to pick-her-up somewhere in Bay Ridge.

I called her on my then — Motorola V60i — as we neared the destination but she was still getting her hair done and needed another ten-to-twenty minutes (which actually turned into forty-five minutes). We parked diagonally across from the Verrazano Bridge over-looking "The Narrows" — a maritime gateway "tidal" strip.

How romantic, right?

Forty-two minutes later, she finally called, "I'm so sorry but nothing is going hair caught fire got burnt on the left-side...can we cancel?"

I went-off.
I clenched-my-fist so hard that all five-knuckles cracked and the driver, "Gulped."

Perhaps she was teasing because I see a woman's figure appear from the distance walking towards us. (We/us — the car service driver and I became more than acquainted; we bonded during our free wait time together.)

When she arrived, she was nothing like the photos I saw on MySpace and most certainly not like any of the pictures that was sent via e-mail.

If I'm short, she's a midget.
If I'm being mean, she's deserving of it.

Whatever the case may be, I had to suck-it-up and continue-on w/ the date even though she offered me a Get Out of Jail Free card.

It is quite intriguing to see how a "so-called" man can go from — cracking-his-knuckles and pouting (because he's dying to see her and doesn't want to cancel) -to- a disgusted-feeling in the gut and grimacing-face (because he wants to die and wishes he had cancelled) — in mere seconds, it is quite alarming.

We proceeded w/ the date (grimace) and arrived at Sushi Samba on the West Side. Perhaps our most action-packed conversation of the evening was, "You never had sushi before?"

"I can't believe you never had sushi. Well, I ordered edamame as appetizers, please excuse me while I make this business call."

I took atleast 20 minutes in the bathroom downstairs. Upon arrival, I see that the edamame had gone cold. I asked, "So, what do you think about the edamame?"

Edamame - 12 grams
of protein per 1 cup
"The edi-i-who?" she replied.

"Edamame. It's green soy beans...(I popped them out to show her) a pod."

"What's that (as she pointed to the bean)?"

"This is edamame. It's like the most popular type of new protein snack for celebrities and athletes."


Please let me tell you that this date is not going well.
It hasn't been well from the very beginning.

"So, I guess you don't like soy beans?"

She replied, 'I don't know. I ate the whole thing and almost threw-up.'

Edamame are usually are boiled or steamed in the pod and served w/ salt.

She ate the whole damn thing. Pod and all.

~The End~

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