Thursday, May 16, 2013

theEDAMAME STORY

Miss Soto

Once upon a time... 


...I met a girl from Miami through MySpace. After a month, she decided to fly-up or fly-down (whatever your preference is) to see me. I called my company's car service account — a black Lincoln Town Car picked-me-up as I'm off to pick-her-up somewhere in Bay Ridge.



I called her on my then — Motorola V60i — as we neared the destination but she was still getting her hair done and needed another ten-to-twenty minutes (which actually turned into forty-five minutes). We parked diagonally across from the Verrazano Bridge over-looking "The Narrows" — a maritime gateway "tidal" strip.

How romantic, right?
Wrong.

Forty-two minutes later, she finally called, "I'm so sorry but nothing is going right...my hair caught fire got burnt on the left-side...can we cancel?"

I went-off.
I clenched-my-fist so hard that all five-knuckles cracked and the driver, "Gulped."

Perhaps she was teasing because I see a woman's figure appear from the distance walking towards us. (We/us — the car service driver and I became more than acquainted; we bonded during our free wait time together.)

When she arrived, she was nothing like the photos I saw on MySpace and most certainly not like any of the pictures that was sent via e-mail.

If I'm short, she's a midget.
If I'm being mean, she's deserving of it.


Whatever the case may be, I had to suck-it-up and continue-on w/ the date even though she offered me a Get Out of Jail Free card.

It is quite intriguing to see how a "so-called" man can go from — cracking-his-knuckles and pouting (because he's dying to see her and doesn't want to cancel) -to- a disgusted-feeling in the gut and grimacing-face (because he wants to die and wishes he had cancelled) — in mere seconds, it is quite alarming.

We proceeded w/ the date (grimace) and arrived at Sushi Samba on the West Side. Perhaps our most action-packed conversation of the evening was, "You never had sushi before?"

"I can't believe you never had sushi. Well, I ordered edamame as appetizers, please excuse me while I make this business call."

I took atleast 20 minutes in the bathroom downstairs. Upon arrival, I see that the edamame had gone cold. I asked, "So, what do you think about the edamame?"


Edamame - 12 grams
of protein per 1 cup
"The edi-i-who?" she replied.

"Edamame. It's green soy beans...(I popped them out to show her)...in a pod."

"What's that (as she pointed to the bean)?"

"This is edamame. It's like the most popular type of new protein snack for celebrities and athletes."

— SILENCE —

Please let me tell you that this date is not going well.
It hasn't been well from the very beginning.

"So, I guess you don't like soy beans?"

She replied, 'I don't know. I ate the whole thing and almost threw-up.'

Edamame are usually are boiled or steamed in the pod and served w/ salt.

She ate the whole damn thing. Pod and all.


~The End~

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