Thursday, November 28, 2013

EPIC BEEF: Kanye West -vs- Sway on Sway in the Morning Radio Show [SHADE45 (Sirius XM Radio)]

BEEF begins to start at around 14-mins. 00-secs. mark

"YOU AIN'T GOT THE ANSWERS!" at 16-mins. 41-secs.

Kanye West and Sway Talk Without Boundaries: Raw and Real on Sway in the Morning

Earlier this year, Kanye West and Sway made headlines when Ye proclaimed that he gave Sway his first TV. For the first time since the incident in March, the two hip hop heads talk in person.

Their interview began with Sway expressing his appreciation for Kanye's Yeezus tour.

"My demo is the Yeezus tour." Says Ye. "Pure creativity... The Yeezus tour is more of a film, or broadway or play idea, Watch the Throne is more of a Rap idea."

Ye then began to discuss his production inspiration from greats like Diamond D & Showbiz.

From discussions of DONDA, to fashion, to the status of his Red Octobers, West passionately says...

"I am the #1 most impactful artist of our generation. I am Shakespeare in the flesh. Walt Disney. Nike. Google... Do you want to marginalize me until I am out my moment?"

Sway's next question sparked excitement and passion from Kanye.

"Why don't you empower yourself, and don't need them, & do it yourself?" Asked Sway.

"You ain't got the answers Sway!" Shouts Ye. "You ain't spent 13 million dollars of your own money trying to empower yourself!"

After the quick heated conversation, they both brought their talk back to music. Why was Pusha T & Big Sean not on the tour? Why did he mention that Nicki Minaj had the best verse on Monster?

Watch below, plus enjoy the "first freestyle that had absoutely no rhymes." — Hip-Hop DX

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Top 10 NBA Plays of the Night: November 26th, 2013

A duo of delicious dunks headlines the Tuesday night Top 10 Plays. 

Australia meets China: Australian children learn Mandarin BBC News

Australia meets China: Australian children learn Mandarin

Australia meets China: Australian children learn Mandarin As Australia's politicians continue to highlight the importance of building ties with Asia, the BBC's Jon Donnison reports from one of Australia's few bilingual schools. There are 23 children currently enrolled on the English and Chinese programme at Richmond West Primary School in Melbourne.  – BBC News

Dupree the Cutest French Bully & Stella the Cute Lil' Baby


Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Today Tonight : Quick and Healthy Meals

A survey of some of our most popular brands of pre-packaged foods has revealed that besides being quick and convenient, some are surprisingly healthy as well.

Meet the Disfigured Man Whose Embrace with Pope Francis Went Viral

Meet the Disfigured Man Whose Embrace with Pope Francis Went Viral

    by Ben Wedeman, CNN
Vicenza, Italy (CNN) -- A few years ago Vinicio Riva boarded a public bus in the northern Italian town of Vicenza. He went toward the nearest vacant seat but before he could sit down the man in the adjacent seat snapped, "Go away! Don't sit next to me."
"I wanted to answer back, but I controlled myself," recalled Vinicio, now 53 years old. "I felt my blood pressure rise." He stayed on the bus, standing.
"There were lots of people on the bus, and they heard it all, but no one said a word."
Vinicio has long been accustomed to the unkindness of strangers. He suffers from a non-infectious genetic disease, neurofibromatosis type 1. It has left him completely covered from head to toe with growths, swellings and itchy sores. His mother suffered from the same illness before she died, and his sister has a milder version of it.
His aunt, Caterina Lotto, says his undershirt is often completely soaked in blood that seeps from the sores.

Photos: The life of Vinicio RivaPhotos: The life of Vinicio Riva

Photos: Pope embraces disfigured manPhotos: Pope embraces disfigured man
In early November Vinicio traveled with his aunt and dozens of others from northern Italy to Vatican City, where they attended a morning public audience held by Pope Francis. Vinicio, who has difficulty staying on his feet for long, was in a wheelchair.
"We didn't think we would be so close to the Pope, but the Swiss Guard kept ushering us forward until we were in a corner in the front row," recalled Lotto, a woman in her late sixties with a quick smile and an infectious laugh.
"When he came close to us," she said, "I thought he would give me his hand. Instead he went straight to Vinicio and embraced him tightly. I thought he wouldn't give him back to me he held him so tightly. We didn't speak. We said nothing but he looked at me as if he was digging deep inside, a beautiful look that I would never have expected."
Vinicio, accustomed to stares of shock and fear, was initially confused by the pontiff's lack of hesitation. "He didn't have any fear of my illness," he said. "He embraced me without speaking ... I quivered. I felt a great warmth."
In moments of drama, odd details often remain vivid. "I looked down at his shoes," Vinicio's aunt recalled. "They were like this," she said, holding her hands apart and laughing. "I thought yes, this is someone who really walks."
The entire encounter lasted little over a minute, and soon Vinicio and his aunt were back on the bus, Vinicio in a state of combined shock and joy.
"He was almost not himself," Lotto said. "He was shaking."
"I felt I was returning home ten years younger, as if a load had been lifted," Vinicio said.
But life returned to normal soon enough. He went back to his job at a home for the elderly, collecting and throwing out the trash, running odd jobs. He works there on weekdays and in slower moments enjoys chatting with the residents who don't seem to notice his condition. His preferred topic of conversation is the ups and downs of Juventus, his favorite football team.
When I ventured to discuss football with him, suggesting he should consider the merits of other teams, like Rome or Lazio, he was dismissive, shaking his head and wagging his fingers in contempt.
Diego Munari, the director of the home, said Vinicio's energy and humor help keep the residents' spirits up. He said, "Everyday he meets a lot of people here who like him, who chat and joke with him."
When Vinicio finishes work, he rides his bicycle back to the flat he shares with his sister Morena. Aunt Caterina says he can be lazy when it comes to preparing meals, and often prefers to make a sandwich to avoid having to wash the dishes.
CNN Rome producers Hada Messia and Livia Borghese had been trying for weeks to speak with Vinicio, ever since the photos of his embrace with Pope Francis were first made public. Initially his family was hesitant, but the encounter with Francis emboldened him. A change came over him, he said. "I feel stronger and happier. I feel I can move ahead because the Lord is protecting me."
"Now that people have seen him they will be less detached," said his aunt, who also hopes the Pope's embrace and the media furor it whipped up will raise awareness about neurofibromatosis. She is worried that cuts in cash-strapped Italy's health and social services could impact her nephew.
Vinicio savors his moment with Pope Francis, but says he still has unfinished business.
"I hope he calls me so we can have a face-to-face meeting him and I. I have many things to tell him," Vinicio said. One of the hallmarks of Francis' papacy has been to call people, out of the blue.
"What do you want to tell him?" I asked.
"That's a bit private," he said, shaking his head apologetically. "It's between him and I."

Christopher Walken Hitch-Hiking In NYC

Christopher Walken Hitch-Hiking In NYC After Failing To Hail A Cab
We know John Waters loves hitchhiking—Dave Matthews, Bono and Larry David have all hitched (or picked up a hitchhiker) as well. And now we can add Christopher Walken to the list: a New Yorker tells us he picked up the iconic actor earlier this week when he saw him struggling to hail a cab on the Upper West Side.
Here's his full tale of the encounter, which you can see preserved for the ages in the photo above (which the driver's friend had posted on Reddit, but without any details of what exactly had occurred):
I was driving down Amsterdam Avenue on the Upper West Side with my friend Ash on Tuesday. Ash yelled, "yo man, that was the king of New York." I pulled over and backed up all the way down the block. Christopher Walken was hailing a cab. We told him we are huge fans and offered him a lift.
He responded politely, "I don't want you guys to go out of your way. I am going straight downtown and you can leave me anywhere." We told him we would be more than happy to drive him downtown and to hop in. He got in the car and we went on talking about stories from growing up in the city. He is an incredibly nice person, the conversation was great and Mr. Walken thanked us again for the ride. He even let us take a picture together.
Walken is no stranger to doing wacky things around NYC: back in 2010, he randomly introduced himself to the new tenants living in his childhood home in Astoria. We've asked the driver to give us a little more information about the ride, and will update if and when he does. But this is either authentic, or the start of a new NYC urban legend. Unless they confused him for Kevin Pollak, which would be understandable. —

Waitress Wins $3.5 Million Six Years After Boss Snorts Coke Off Her Shoulder

NEW YORK - OCTOBER 23:  Noel Ashman, Patrick McMullen and Quo owner Gary Malhotra attend the opening of Quo Nightclub on October 23, 2009 in New York City.  (Photo by Jerritt Clark/Getty Images)
Slama had only been working at the W. 28th St. club for a short time when she said Malhotra,
a lawyer, cornered her in a storeroom and demanded
she let him do a line off her rear end.

Nicole Slama was granted a default judgment of $3.5 million six years after her co-worker forcibly snorted cocaine off of her shoulder after wanting to snort it off of her rear and breast.

Who’s snorting now?

A Manhattan waitress is getting the last laugh on the creepy nightclub owner she says snorted cocaine off her shoulder and then licked her neck.

Nicole Slama has been granted a default judgment in her $3.5 million lawsuit against former Quo co-owner Gary Malhotra, six years after the icky encounter.

“It’s been very difficult to deal with this for so many years, but it would have been more difficult to let him get away with what he did,” Slama told the Daily News.

Slama had only been working at the W. 28th St. club for a short time when she said Malhotra, a lawyer, cornered her in a storeroom and demanded she let him do a line off her rear end.

She pushed him away, but he grabbed her breast and said, “OK, off your (breast) then,” according to the suit.

Slama charged that when she said “No!” and tried to get out again, he pinned her against the wall. She said he then did the line off her shoulder and licked her neck. “You have to let me, ’cause I’m your boss,” she quoted him as saying. She immediately went to cops, who arrested him for forcible touching and sexual abuse.

He was sentenced to five days’ community service — but managed to stall her civil suit for years, claiming he was in the process of appealing the criminal conviction.

Slama’s lawyer, Megan Goddard, said he never actually filed the appeal, and she got the stay lifted after his deadline for filing one expired. Justice Cynthia Kern found him and the company that owned the club in default. An inquest will be held next year to determine money damages for Slama. Quo was shuttered in 2011.

Chicago Bulls Superstar Derrick Rose Out-For-Season

(The Oregonian, Bruce Ely/ Associated Press ) - In this photo taken on Friday, Nov. 22, 2013, Chicago Bulls point guard Derrick Rose (1) leaves the Moda Center on crutches after he was injured in an NBA basketball game against the Portland Trail Blazers in Portland, Ore.
Derek Rose tears medial meniscus in right knee on non-contact play -vs- Portland Trailblazers
on Friday, November 22md, 2013

CHICAGO — Chicago Bulls star Derrick Rose is out for the remainder of the season.

The team said that Rose had successful surgery Monday morning in Chicago to repair a torn medial meniscus in his right knee. He was hurt Friday night at Portland.

The 2011 NBA MVP missed all of last season after tearing the anterior cruciate ligament in his left knee in Chicago’s 2012 playoff opener against Philadelphia. He has played in just 50 NBA games — 49 in the regular season and that lone playoff game — since the Bulls’ run to the Eastern Conference finals during his MVP season.

The latest injury occurred in the third quarter against the Trail Blazers.

He lost his footing while trying to change direction to get back on defense when Nicolas Batum stole a pass from Joakim Noah and started the other way. Rose limped across the court and couldn’t put any weight on his knee. After the Blazers scored, he came out of the game during a timeout.

It didn’t appear there was any contact on the play. Rose was unable to return and was on crutches afterward.

With Rose back, the Bulls were expected to challenge LeBron James and the Miami Heat for supremacy in the Eastern Conference and contend for their first championship since the Michael Jordan-Scottie Pippen era. Instead, they’re in a familiar spot — trying to get by without their cornerstone player.

“We, of course, feel very badly for Derrick. He’s in good spirits, about as well as can be expected under the circumstances, and he’s already thinking about his rehab,” coach Tom Thibodeau said Sunday, before the team announced their star was gone for the season. “Typical Derrick. He’s concerned about his team, his teammates.”

The top-seeded Bulls bowed out in the first round of the playoffs in 2012 against Philadelphia after Rose went down and fell into a season-long holding pattern without him last year, waiting for a return that didn’t happen.

His recovery took on a circus-like feel. Fans saw him shooting and dunking before games last season and wondered why he wasn’t playing, particularly as the Bulls fought through injuries and illnesses down the stretch. Adidas released videos documenting his progress, but Rose mostly stayed in the background, saying little about his recovery. That changed midway through the season.

There was also speculation that Rose’s camp was advising him to sit out last season and that there was a rift with the organization, particularly after older brother Reggie Rose ripped management for standing pat at the trade deadline. But Derrick Rose denied that.

All of that faded into the background with Rose back this season — and insisting he could regain his MVP form.

He was off to an up-and-down start. He was averaging 15.9 points and was shooting just over 35 percent.

He was looking a little better in his last two games, with 19 points in a loss at Denver and 20 against Portland.

Without Rose, veteran Kirk Hinrich figures to start with second-year pro Marquis Teague backing him up.

“I think we have an understanding of what we need to do,” Thibodeau said. “We can’t feel sorry for ourselves. We have to circle the wagons, and then get out there and get the job done.”

Monday, November 25, 2013

Foot Locker's Funny TV Commerical: All Is Right

Foot Locker brings back Kyrie Irving for the Week Of Greatness, a week of the most premium shoe releases that can right all the world's wrongs. See Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield hug it out, Dennis Rodman fly to North Korea, Brett Favre finally walk away, and Craig Sager decide to change his wardrobe. If it's at Foot Locker, it's Approved. #weekofgreatness

Thunder Fans: Masters of the Half-Court $20,000 Shot

Each of these Oklahoma City Thunder fans all went home with $20,000 after hitting a half-court shot w/ the last fan shaking Jay-Z's hand.

Top 5 NBA Plays of the Night: November 24th, 2013

Check out the cream of the crop from a Sunday in the NBA, with a double dose of Gerald Green.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

The Appeal of Cinnabon Vodka and the Rise of Flavored Vodkas

Pinnacle's Cinnabon Flavored Vodka
The Appeal of Cinnabon Vodka and the Rise of Flavored Vodkas
Daniel Gross

A new alcohol combines two successful consumer trends: Cinnabon-licensed products and flavored vodkas.

Two great tastes that go together. Chocolate and peanut butter. Taco Bell tacos and Doritos. And now, Cinnabons and… . vodka?

Yes. This morning I had a chance to sample the combo.

I originally thought the pitch from Beam, the big spirits company, and Cinnabonwould be about some gooey, unabashedly sweet cinnamon buns, smothered in hot icing, infused with alcohol. But it’s the other way around. The flavoring and essence of Cinnabon has been distilled into Beam’s Pinnacle Vodka.

The result is actually quite good. I had a Proustian moment when sniffing the liquor. The memories of a hundred business trips came roaring back as I recalled the unctuous Cinnabon aroma that wafts through airports. The sweetness cuts through the usual harshness of Vodka and leaves a cinnamon taste on the tongue. It’s even better when paired with some actual Cinnabons.

The collaboration between two large companies is the logical outgrowth of a few big trends. One is the rise of flavored vodkas, which are appealing, especially to younger (legal) drinkers. Pinnacle comes in 30 (!) flavors, including Cherry Lemonade, Cookie Dough, Pomegranate, Rainbow Sherbet, and Whipped (as in whipped cream). A second is the relentless expansion of Cinnabon, which has branched out from mall stands and airport kiosks to deals with Burger King and Taco Bell and to consumer packaged products. A third is the continued appeal of indulgence, even in this age of nutritional labeling and increasingly aggressive fat police.

The idea started with Beam. Sales of beer and soda are stagnant or declining. But sales of spirits have actually been growing nicely, as this study shows (PDF). That’s in part because outfits like Beam are rolling out new flavors and products to appeal to the desires of their customers. “People are very specific about what they desire. If they want blackberry, they won’t take blueberry,” said Bill Newlands, president for North America at Beam. Pinnacle is the leading flavored vodka brand in the U.S. And the parent company has enjoyed a nice run in the stock market, as shown by this two-year chart.

Since customers already were taking up cookie dough-flavored vodka, it was natural to think of a Cinnabons-flavored version. “We had started to work on creating something in this zip code, and internally we said we need to have something that tastes like a Cinnabon,” said Newlands.

For Kat Cole, who started her career as a Hooters waitress (here’s a good Forbesprofile), a vodka offered yet another brand extension. “We have over 70 products in consumer packaged goods,” she said. There’s Cinnabon-flavored International delight coffee creamer. Cinnabon-flavored coffee in K-cups. There is Kellogg’s Cinnabon cereal and Keebler Cinnabon cookies. “We are just now hitting $1 billion in total consumer product sales,” Cole said. Several years ago, Cinnabon relied almost exclusively on sales of fresh products at franchised stores. And those are still proliferating rapidly. There are 1,100 outlets in 58 countries, up from 860 last year. But the licensing and packaged-goods efforts have diversified the company’s revenue streams.

But it wasn’t a simple matter of mashing up some Cinnabons and jamming them into bottles. “We were very careful about how we got the bun in there,” said Newlands. Cole noted that “the first iteration was surprisingly delicious, but skewed a little red hot cinnamon,” said Cole. Over the course of 15 versions, the cinnamon flavor was continually toned down.

Like vodka generally, the 70-proof Pinnacle Cinnabon flavor, which sells for $12.99 per bottle, is not a particularly challenging spirit. And sure, this product—made from French vodka—is cloying in its sweetness. But that’s the point. Both Beam and Cinnabon are in the business of selling indulgences that should be enjoyed in moderation and they’re not shy about it.

Cole said that when she first came on board at Cinnabon there was a project aimed at reducing the stomach-impact of the 880-calorie Cinnabon classic. The problem was, the company already sold the Mini-bon, a 350 calorie alternative, and removing more calories would have meant putting in artificial sweeteners. So she killed the project.

Cinnabon and Beam aren’t expecting any awards from the fat police or nutritionists when the bottles hit the shelves on December 1. A 1.5-ounce shot packs 150 calories. And that’s ok. “We are sweets. We are sugar. We are fat. We are yumminess,” said Cole. “Do I want the American public eating a classic Cinnabon Classic every day? No way.” But having a Mini-bon three time a week is just fine. Just so, adults having a shot of a sweet shot of vodka every now and again, or mixing it in with warm cider, is perfectly acceptable. “We always say people should drink responsibly,” said Newlands.

Of course, for foodie sophisticates and self-respecting adults, there is something slightly transgressive about a vodka that is flavored like an airport cinnamon roll. I mean, it sounds like something that Homer Simpson might dream up. But that’s part of what the partners are counting on. As Cole put it: “Outside of being a good business opportunity, it’s fun to be in another segment where, when people show up, they say, ‘I really shouldn’t, but I will.’”

"A Deep Slow Panic" – AFI

"A Deep Slow Panic" – AFI

I watched you go out the door
With poise I’d seen before
I saw you shine
You shined
I collapsed to the floor
It promised it'd miss me more
And said your love is mine
I missed you
Did you miss me

Slowly its consuming me
Deliberate and deep
I can’t take this deeper panic
Teach me, teach me not to dream
Dream deeply.

I haven’t left here for days
My panic keeps me awake
As he unwinds inside
He told me I should have known
That he hated the way I’d grown
To loves surmise
She lied.
Do you miss her?
Like I missed you

Slowly its consuming me
Deliberate and deep
I can’t take this deeper panic
Teach me, teach me not to dream
Dream deeply.

Slowly I’d swallow your fears
For all of those years
How could you let that consume me
Teach me how you sleep so sweetly

Davey Havok

Thursday, November 21, 2013

"EVERYONE!" from Léon: The Professional (1994)

Norman Stansfield: Bring me everyone.
3rd Stansfield man: What do you mean "everyone?"
Norman Stansfield: E V E R Y O N E !!!

Gary Oldman as Norman Stansfield in The Professional (1994)

Peyton Manning At Top Of Game

QB still flying high in Denver
Peyton Manning At Top Of Game
Jeff Howe 
FOXBORO — The transition to the Broncos was supposed to stunt his brilliance. The right arm was supposed to fall off. The old age was supposed to land him in a Floridian complex with his wrinkly peers and an endless supply of Scrabble boards.
Yet, at 37, quarterback Peyton Manning has remained upright and in charge on the field, shunning doubters with record-setting performances and an offensive output that might turn into the most productive season in NFL history. He is again leading the most prolific attack in the league, less than two years after his career was in doubt due to neck injuries and his arm strength was doubted.
Nearly as important, Manning’s stability as a locker room leader has kept Denver in good shape as Jack Del Rio serves as the interim coach while John Fox recovers from heart surgery.
Eric Decker, Wes Welker & Demaryius Thomas are
Peyton Manning's prime targets 
“I’m just grateful that we’ve got a guy like that leading us,” Del Rio said of Manning. “He is very competitive, extremely well-prepared and takes this position and these opportunities very seriously. So the work ethic, and the competitive nature, and the toughness and those things, that’s just part of who he is.”
Manning has completed a career-high 69.9 percent of his passes for an NFL-best 3,572 yards and 34 touchdowns this season while the Broncos lead the league with 39.8 points per game. Manning is on pace for 5,715 yards and 54 touchdowns, and the Broncos are in line to score 636 points, all of which would set NFL records.
It might be even more impressive that Manning has led this aerial assault in his second season with the Broncos, who are on their second offensive coordinator in as many years. The latter is because Manning helped turn Mike McCoy into a first-time head coach with San Diego.
The Patriots, who host Manning and the Broncos Sunday night, surely have a challenge on their hands.
“He looks pretty good,” Bill Belichick said of Manning. “He looks pretty good every year to me.”
The Manning effect has completely altered the Broncos, who have already scored more points in 10 games than they did in any of the 11 seasons just prior to his arrival.
Manning has greatly aided the development of Demaryius Thomas (60 receptions, 914 yards, nine touchdowns) into one of the NFL’s most prolific outside receivers. The quarterback helped Eric Decker (54-792-3) transform from a run-of-the-mill receiver into, perhaps, the best third option in the league. And while tight end Julius Thomas (45-590-10) is finally healthy, Manning has turned a nobody into one of the league’s most productive red-zone threats. Of course, Wes Welker (61-648-9) has maintained his success in his first season with the new offense.
“Guys have done a good job adapting,” Manning said. “It is a credit to those guys for kind of learning on the run, and doing and executing the offense in a relatively new system.”
Denver Broncos' version of the Dream Team
Manning has helped other guys look good, too. Running back Knowshon Moreno (600 yards, eight touchdowns) is on pace for his most rushing yards since his rookie season in 2009. And the offensive line, which has three different starters from the unit that closed last season, is second in the NFL with 13 sacks allowed. A major hat tip belongs to Manning’s ability to quickly identify the defensive coverage and unload the ball.
“He’s a great quarterback at knowing where exactly the defenders are, and knowing what routes are being run against the defense that’s on the field . . . so the ball comes out that much quicker,” Pats defensive lineman Rob Ninkovich said.
A record four-time league MVP and presumptive favorite to win a fifth, Manning has the Broncos (9-1) in the AFC’s pole position with six weeks left. The Patriots have to find a way to slow him down if they want a realistic chance to claim the conference’s top playoff seed.
If the numbers hold up over the next month, Manning would lead the NFL in completions for the fourth time, yards for the third time and touchdowns for the fourth time. The question, though, is whether Manning can sustain this success when the temperature drops, and it could fall into the teens Sunday night at Gillette Stadium.
Maybe the downturn has already begun. The Broncos averaged 42.9 points in their first eight games but 27.5 in their last two. By comparison, the 2007 Patriots averaged 41.4 points in their first eight games but 32.3 over their last eight.
While the criticism of Manning’s arm strength was overly dramatic, there is a sense it’s taking a bit more effort to deliver his throws outside the numbers. Add the high ankle sprains to the equation, and the likelihood rises of falling off the pace.
Yet, Manning has swatted aside those criticisms before, and he is at the center of the Pats’ focus this week.
“Obviously, it starts with Peyton,” safety Steve Gregory said. “He’s an unbelievable quarterback.” —  Boston Herald



Zappos Trolls Kanye West By Selling $100K 'Shit Product' Plunger

kanye west, zappos, shit product

Zappos Trolls Kanye West By Selling $100K 'Shit Product' Plungerby Kyle McGovern

Internet retailer's parody page counters 'Yeezus' star's dis of the company

Kanye West recently sat down with his friend and increasingly frequent collaborator Bret Easton Ellis for an interview on the writer's new podcast. The hour-long Q&A unearthed the usual load of Kanye-isms — he considers himself a "Creative Genius," even if he can't always spell the word "genius" correctly — but also revealed that 'Ye has some hate in his heart for online clothing and shoe retailer Zappos.
Kanye West -vs- Zappos
"I got into this giant argument with the head of that he's trying to tell me what I need to focus on," West told Ellis. "Meanwhile, he sells all this shit product to everybody, his whole thing is based off of selling shit product." Gear Sh-t Product

Now, Zappos has responded by listing a new item for sale: the shit product plunger. "Interested in buying sh-t product? You've come to the right place!" the Sh-t Product page reads. "Here at, we happily sell sh-t products to everybody! This is the throne, everyone has been watching. Whether you're #1 or #2, your clique will show no mercy, even in Paris."
The latest offering from Zappos promises to make "giant arguments seem much smaller," and is being marketed as "the perfect gift for the man that has everything." (Note: that link was Zappos', not ours — they're not being coy about this.)
The piece has a steep pricetag ($100,000) but shipping's free, thankfully. Watch Zappos' official video advertising the shit product plunger below, and head over to The Bret Easton Ellis Podcast website to hear Kanye's beef-birthing remarks. — SPIN



"F ckin Wit Me" – Meek Mill feat. Tory Lanez | Produced by MeKanics & Scott Storch

"F ckin Wit Me"  – Meek Mill feat. Tory LanezProduced by MeKanics & Scott Storch

[Intro: DJ Drama]

Most of us successful people could tell you a story
About when they wasn't fucking with us
Now that we're at the top, y'all ain't fucking with us

[Bridge: Tory Lanez]

They ain't fuck with me when my money low
Now they tryna ride cause my money long

[Hook: Tory Lanez]

These niggas ain't shit, half million dollar whip, nigga
Tell your bitch suck a rich nigga dick
They may hate like I ain't grind for this shit
But I ain't tripping cause you niggas ain't fucking with me
Tell 'em "nah, nah you niggas ain't fucking with me"

[Verse 1: Meek Mill]

Yeah, when the money came all the hoes came too
These niggas started hating, I guess that's what fame do
And I remain who? Me! Still be with the same crew
None of my niggas don't fall out for bitches
They falling for money, we ain't you, we ain't y'all niggas
Started with a dollar and I turned that to a million
Now the chasers in the building, it ain't hard nigga
I'm like oh lord what a feeling when you pull up
Drop the ceiling on them suckers that was watching while we starve
They got fat and I got slim so I shitted on them niggas when I got in
My homie caught me for some paper [?] so now we fuck that niggas now come on
More money than you can ever think
Now we buying more PJ than we can ever drink
More than we could ever swallow
Get money that's my motto
When you in the lead there's nothing to follow
I know...


[Verse 2: Meek Mill]

When the money came all the problems came too
And when the problems came all they had to blame was you
And niggas said I changed, you would probably change too
When niggas is hating they catching them vapors
And mad at favors that you ain't do
They gon' switch sides
I could tell you suckers want me gone
Before I let my mama mourn, you know Ima let that shit fly
And I used to get it on
Selling crack til it was dawn
Moving fish, and I ain't talking bout no fish fry
And the reason they can't keep up, cuz when they sleep you know we up
We move kilos, then re-up
I do one lap, then I speed up
With your plan A you couldn't be us
Or see us, when it's game time
And it's 4th quarter now let's D up
Ima be up, with my feet up
And Ima eat up, every beat up
That they feed us, as a fetus
I had more stripes than Adidas
And my dawg told me don't ease up, kill these niggas
And when I do murder them all me and my Philly niggas


[Outro: DJ Drama]

I'm on a decade of dominating the game
With the legends, the hottest MCs, and the new niggas
It's me!
They ain't fuckin' wit me
It's the ball
DC 3

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

The YouTube Hall Of Fame

The YouTube Hall Of Fame
by Bill Simmons
Page 2 

My virgin foray onto the Internet happened at 2:30 in the morning. This was back in the spring of '96 -- I was returning home from a night out drinking during which a college friend had casually mentioned exchanging e-mails with another of our friends at work. Wait, e-mails? What the hell are those? You guys can communicate through text instantaneously? Hearing the whole thing explained, I almost felt like the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer.

I remember stumbling back to my house, stopping at the Store 24 for some pretzels, grabbing one of those stupid "Free AOL trial!" disks on the counter, paying Joe the Alcoholic Counter Guy, heading back home and installing everything onto my laptop, creating my first screen name, using a tangled cord to plug into my kitchen phone jack ... and somehow getting myself online. My life would never be the same. And if there was a video clip of the entire sequence, I would love to stick it on YouTube and show you.

Rowdy Roddy Piper
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There's crazy. There's insane. Then there's every moment Roddy Piper was on TV.
After a decade of watching the Internet change everyone's lives (including mine), it never ceases to amaze me. The Internet gave me a job and a career. I pay my bills online, follow stocks, buy DVDs and books, argue about the Celtics with complete strangers on a message board, send streaming video of my kid back home to my parents, get almost all my sports information, keep in touch with dozens and dozens of family members, friends, acquaintances and co-workers every week. There's always some new way to kill time. But YouTube ranks among the greatest Internet developments ever, right up there with iTunes, Napster, free porn and e-mails with "Vegas?" in the subject heading. For instance, last week I was watching a YouTube clip of Rowdy Roddy Piper smashing a coconut against Superfly Snuka's skull on YouTube and marveling at the magnitude of the moment: Not that it was a defining TV moment of my adolescence, but that I only needed to type in the words "Piper's Pit" on YouTube's search engine and the clip popped right up on my laptop. Unbelievable.

YouTube brings past memories to life and gives you new ones. I never thought I would see Michael Jackson's initial moonwalk during "Motown 25" again (hard to believe it was such a huge deal at the time); the watershed Stan Jonathan-Pierre Bouchard fight; the ridiculous Michael Jackson-Lisa Marie Presley kiss; a Boston fan being brave enough to walk through the Yankee Stadium bleachers dressed in Sox gear (too many obscenities involved for me to provide the link); an ancient and somewhat deranged Iron Sheik threatening to sodomize various wrestlers (can't link to that either); Fonzie jumping the shark(literally); or even David Letterman's heartfelt monologue right after the 9/11 attacks. But I watched all of those clips in the span of two hours last week.

You name it, it's probably on YouTube. (Well, except for SNL sketches -- NBC has blocked those for now. Party poopers.) I found myself getting sucked in last winter, thanks to recommendations from readers, some of my intern's links and some great finds on various sites/blogs like Fark, Deadspin, Basketball Jones and SportsByBrooks. So screw it ... how 'bout a YouTube column? Here are 33 of my favorite YouTube clips (in no particular order):

1. Band Aid -- "Do They Know It's Christmas?"
My all-time favorite Christmas song. For some reason, I hadn't seen the video in ages and forgot the lineup of singers other than Bono (who has the headscratching, "Well, tonight thank God it's them, instead of you!" line that I've never been able to figure out). In the video, that line works even better because it follows the duet with Simon LeBon and Sting, and suddenly there's a young Bono standing behind them and wearing Uncle Jessie's haircut from "Full House" ... and the three of them share one mike as Bono belts his weird line out. Even stranger, Sting never gets his own line -- he's just singing background for everyone else, which was insane because he was the biggest star there.

Here's what kills me about this video (other than George Michael's haircut): Not only does Paul Young bat leadoff, they go back to him for another solo in the middle! Paul Young! They had the lead singer of the hottest band at the time (Duran Duran's LeBon), the best singer of the entire decade (Sting) and a budding superstar (Bono) ... and they kicked things off with Paul Young? Who was in charge of Band Aid, Bob Geldof or Jimy Williams? I was trying to think of a sports equivalent of this -- like John Starks getting named to the '92 Dream Team, then starting over MJ and Drexler -- but it's impossible. It's too ludicrous. You can't come up with the sports equivalent of Paul Young getting the nod over Bono, Sting and Simon LeBon. I watched this clip 10 times in two weeks and still couldn't figure it out. And you wonder what I do all day.

(And while we're here, the "We Are The World" video is equally fantastic, although every joke has been made at this point. Just know that Dan Aykroyd cracking the chorus group gets 3 percent funnier each year.)

2. Boom Goes the Dynamite
I know, I know ... we've all seen him at this point. When they create the YouTube Hall of Fame, this probably makes the first ballot along with "The Shining" parody, the RBI Baseball/Game 6 do-over and the hypnotically bizarre clip of the Chinese guy berating the other Chinese guy on a bus. But we can't leave him off -- that would be like counting down the greatest announcing calls of all time and leaving off "do you believe in miracles?" Couldn't we make him the 2-6 a.m. ESPNews anchor with Cindy Brunson?

3. Lex Luger vs. a NWA Cyberspace T-shirt
The charisma-less Luger had a promising wrestling future, somehow exceeded his ceiling and became the WWE champ, then fans decided that he wasn't good enough to deserve everything that happened and turned on him. So he ended up falling out of the mainstream loop. Yes, it happens all the time in wrestling ... and fortunately for us, because this cruel turn of events led to Luger doing a crazy interview for a low-level promotion that became the "Boom Goes the Dynamite" of wrestling clips. You need to watch this one a few times to fully appreciate it. I'm convinced that half of the 25,000 funniest things that ever happened were somehow related to pro wrestling.

4. The Tonight Show
David Lee Roth sings a bluegrass version of "Jump" ... or as I like to call it, "the official death of the '80s." Unfortunately this clip was pulled from YouTube right before we posted this column. Maybe that was for the best. Until it goes back up, we'll have to replace it with Van Halen's original"Jump" video that has aged so nicely -- most notably, Eddie's uncomfortable, possibly chemically altered grin and the over-the-top antics of bass player Michael Anthony, who rates right ahead of Jack Haley and right behind the guy who plays Turtle in "Entourage" on the I'm-Just-Happy-To-Be-Here-Getting-A-Paycheck Scale. Can't you picture him sitting in a trailer right now and trying to convince some 16-year-old girl that he used to be in Van Halen?

Bo Jackson
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Who didn't have a 562-yard rushing game with Bo in Tecmo Bowl?
5. The Best of Bo Jackson
Here's why you have to love YouTube: It's the only place where forgotten superstars like Shawn Kemp and Bo Jackson live on. Isn't it weird that the Reign Man's legacy became the drug problem and the "seven kids by six women" thing while Bo's legacy became Tecmo Bowl? Was there anyone even remotely like either of these guys?

6. Bill Shatner & Rocket Man
After I linked to this one in a column two weeks ago, a few readers tried to claim that the clip shouldn't qualify for the Unintentional Comedy Scale because Shatner was TRYING to be funny, that he couldn't have possibly been serious. No. No way. You're wrong. He's dead-serious. Just look at the I'm-so-pleased-with-myself smile at the end, or the fact that the crowd wasn't laughing at any point. My favorite part happens when the third Shatner comes in -- Wacky Shatner -- because that's the one part with "intentional comedy," only there's unintentional comedy in the intentional comedy. It's like he took the whole concept to another level. I just don't think this will ever be topped. Even with "Trapped in the Closet," I still feel like R. Kelly is super-secretly in on the joke somehow.
(By the way, the cartoon "Family Guy" did a takeoff on the Shatner performance a few years ago -- apparently, some of the show's fans had no idea why it happened until they saw the Shatner clip on YouTube. Thought that was interesting. Everyone keeps telling me that I would love "Family Guy." All right, I'm babbling.)

7. ESPN Top 10 Baseball Fights
First of all, this should expand to a top 50 for its own hour-long show. I don't know anyone who wouldn't watch a steady stream of basebrawls for 60 solid minutes. Would wild horses be able to pull you from the TV? I didn't think so. Second, as much as I loved the Ryan-Ventura fight, I can't believe Roseboro-Marichal didn't get the top spot because that's the only recorded instance of a batter repeatedly creaming a catcher over the head with a baseball bat during a game. That will never be topped, at least until Tampa Bay finally calls up Elijah Dukes. Third, Izzy Alcantara's kick of the catcher gets better every time; he shouldn't have been suspended, he should have been canonized. Fourth, Harold Lederman would have scored the Mike Sweeney-Jeff Weaver fight a 10-7 round for Sweeney -- I forgot how enjoyable that one was. Same for Bert Campaneris winging his bat at Tigers pitcher Lerrin LaGrow (which happened in the 1972 playoffs).
And fifth, I can remember 20 fights from the past 35 years that were better than half of the ones in this top 10: Ray Knight-Eric Davis; Pete Rose-Bud Harrelson; George Brett fighting Graig Nettles in Game 5 of the '77 ALCS and both guys being allowed to stay in the game; Carlton Fisk fighting Thurman Munson and Gene Michael at the same time (and winning); Al Nipper decking Phil Bradley with his non-pitching hand; George Bell karate-kicking Bruce Kison; and so on ... which brings me back to my original point: We really, really, REALLY need to run that "Top 50 Basebrawls" show.

8. "Whatzupwitu"
There was a time when Eddie Murphy was bigger than Will Smith, Dave Chappelle and Chris Rock combined. And then this happened.

9. Len Bias Highlights
Heartfelt segment on the Lenny Bias Era, including highlights of the famous UNC game when he made the jumper, stole the inbounds pass and reverse-dunked in one felt swoop. And yes, the 20-year anniversary is coming up.

Wait, hold on.

(Slamming my forehead against my desk over and over again.)

More Great Clips!'s Will Leitch was one of the first sports bloggers to embrace the power of YouTube. Here are his five favorite findings from the past few months:

5. It's Hard Out There For A Mascot
So there's just some guys, driving around, looking for something to eat, when out of nowhere, the Atlanta Hawks mascot drives by on a miniature motorcycle. And -- wouldn't you know it? -- the bike breaks down.

4. "It's All About The Cats"
Made in the mid-'80s, this is a promotional "rap" video from the Arizona Wildcats. Star performers include Steve Kerr, Sean Elliott and Tom Tolbert. If you look quick, you'll even see Kenny Lofton.

3. The Baseball Flop
An Arkansas college baseball player, desperately trying to get on base, reels as if hit by an inside pitch, even though it missed him by about two feet. His Brando-esque performance convinces no one, but he still pleads his case to the point that the ump, mercifully, ejects him.

2. A Fly Manny Would Have Tried To Catch
At an Alaska Goldpanners summer-league game, right as the pitcher's in his windup, a small plane crashes just beyond the left-field fence. The best part is the announcer, still using his normal broadcasting voice.

1. Game 6, 1986, set to RBI Baseball
It's that simple; the great Nintendo RBI Baseball simulating the grueling last moments of Bill Buckner's happiness, all set to the dulcet tones of Vin Scully. The amount of work that went into this is just another example of why the Internet is so terrifying.
10. "Fuji Vice"
Before 1990, when Letterman, Spy Magazine and SNL shaped the country's sense of humor so everyone started mocking these things, stuff like "Fuji Vice" and Shatner's "Rocket Man" kept happening with no real repercussions, even though a smaller number of people were devouring this stuff, realizing the comedic potential and praying for more and more. Now our culture has become sophisticated enough that you rarely see anyone walk into a comedy bear trap anymore, although there are always delightful exceptions (like R. Kelly or Tom Cruise, to name two).
For wrestling purposes, everything peaked with "Fuji Vice," in which the Magnificent Muraco (playing up his Hawaiian heritage) and Mr. Fuji (his evil manager) filmed a short TV show modeled after "Miami Vice," with Muraco and Fuji as the Crockett/Tubbs characters. The beauty of "Fuji Vice," and the reason why it brought so much joy to the wrestling community for the next two decades, was that Fuji and Muraco were dead serious in this thing. They're trying to act. Muraco even looks like someone promised him, "Hey, if this idea takes off, we might be able to turn it into a real show." I remember watching this in 1986, touting its virtues for the next two years, never meeting anyone else who had seen it ... and then my future roommate Birdman (living in the room next to me as a freshman in college) dropped a "Fuji Vice" joke one night and I almost had a heart attack. That led to two decades of friendship and us re-enacting the handshakes between Macho Man Savage and Hulk Hogan every time we see one another. I wish I was kidding. Which reminds me ...

11. Miami Vice Pilot
Here's the famous scene described in my recentNomar/Pedro column (the one with Phil Collins' "In The Air Tonight"). Two great things about this one: First, it still holds up -- even now -- and "Vice" is about as dated as it gets. Second, up until that point, there had never been anything on TV even remotely resembling that scene. Remember, this was the same era when A) they were still freezing people's faces mid-laugh during the opening credits of any sitcom; and B) nobody realized that you could use music to accentuate dramatic TV scenes. So this was like watching Bill Russell block someone's running hook shot in the mid-'50s for the first time.

(Speaking of chill scenes on YouTube, does it get any better than Pacino's speech near the end of "Any Given Sunday?" Has there ever been a greater scene in a worse movie? That was the last great Pacino moment -- his version of MJ swishing the shot over Bryon Russell. And just like MJ, he keeps coming back.)

12. Carl Lewis "Break It Up"
Yes, Carl Lewis made a music video. Yes, you need to watch it. Yes, your life will never be the same. Sadly, his National Anthem performance isn't on YouTube -- at least not yet. But this will suffice. It's almost as horrifying as ...

13. Van Damme on the Dance Floor
You've seen him defeat Chong Li when he was blind. You've seen him play goalie in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. Now ... see Jean-Claude Van Damme dance! Too bad this couldn't have happened as Steven Seagal was running on a treadmill in the background.

14. Beverly Hills 90210
Every few days, someone will put up the opening credit sequence from one of the seasons, which always kills me because I love that somebody took the time to transfer them to YouTube. Then it gets pulled down, a few days passes, and someone will post another season. Remember, "90210" had the funniest opening credits of any show other than maybe "Night Court": the half-turnarounds; the disparity of smiles (that ranged from "I'm very serious about my work on this show" to "I can't believe I get paid every week!); Tori Spelling trying to look sexy (and failing); Jason Priestley taking himself too seriously; Ian Ziering being Ian Ziering; Joe E. Tata being ecstatic just that he made the opening credits; Tiffani-Amber Thiessen's weight fluctuations (she was the Shaq of night-time soap operas); James Eckhouse's "That's right, I'm Mr. Effing Walsh" turnaround; and the spliced "highlights" of each character that was supposed to represent what they were really about (like Dylan riding his motorcycle, or a shirtless Steve Sanders lunging for a volleyball). And the song was fantastic. Did you ever create fake words for the song to spice it up? Umm, me neither.

Anyway, let's replace the original No. 14 with ...

14. The Birdman
Some, umm, doctored highlights from the 2005 Dunk Contest. In my book, it's always time for the Birdman to fly.

15. Pearl Jam & Bruce Springsteen "Better Man"
Forget about the surreal experience of seeing Eddie Vedder and Bruce Springsteen sing together. Let's be honest: The Boss MANGLES the song. He kills it. It's like a bad karaoke performance. The only way it could have been worse is if he stopped the song midway through and told one of those interminably long Bruce stories about "when I was growing up, my dad always thought he was a better man than me ..."

(For a much better duet involving Bruce, check out him and Sting singing "The River." Am I crazy or could they have released this?)

16. Mike Tyson Post-Fight Interview
The one with Jim Gray where Tyson vows to eat Lennox Lewis' kids. Somebody needs to release all of Iron Mike's post-fight interviews on DVD -- especially the ones from the mid-'80s, when he would get so excited to answer the questions that he would interrupt the interviewer because he couldn't wait to speak again. He was the best. I wish they had the Unintentional Comedy Awards every year so we could give him the first-ever Lifetime Achievement Award, followed by him winning the award for Unintentional Comedy Speech of the night right after he finished his speech. Am I the only one who deeply misses Mike Tyson on a weekly basis? Can't we give him a talk show or something?

Saved By The Bell
Everyone watched "Saved By The Bell," but few would ever admit it.
17. Saved By The Bell
Uh-oh ... Jesse's addicted to caffeine pills again. This show has aged spectacularly -- it happened 12-15 years ago, but it feels like 50.

18. Vanilla Ice Goes Postal on MTV
This was a brilliant show in itself -- MTV gathering Jon Stewart, Denis Leary, Chris Kattan and Janeane Garofalo (right before she lost her mind) to count down 25 videos that needed to be destroyed. (Basically, this was the forerunner to those "I Love The '80s"/"Best Week Ever" shows -- and much funnier, too, since these were legitimately funny people making jokes over the videos. Well, except for Janeane Garofalo.) So they get to Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby" video and bring a deranged Ice into the studio to watch it with them -- big mistake, since everyone's afraid to make fun of the video with him sitting right there -- then compound the mistake by asking him to destroy his video's cassette with a baseball bat. Instead, Ice destroys the set as everyone cowers in abject fear, highlighted by Kattan shrieking in a terrified voice, "NO VANILLA!" Tour de force all the way around. This might be the best six minutes on YouTube.

19. NY Jets Draft Blunders
This made the rounds two months ago. The best part is when Rozelle announces one of the picks and says, "Fullback ..." followed by one lone voice screaming, "Nooooooooooooo!" Not only does ESPN need to re-edit this and make it about five minutes longer, if they don't do a similar idea with the Knicks for the upcoming NBA draft, that will be devastating. We can't get 90 more seconds out of the MSG reactions for the likes of Jerrod Mustaf, Fred Weis and Kenny Walker? Or what about a Clippers montage? Come on. Don't make me beg.

20. Steve and Dirk
From a few years ago: Actual video of the future two-time MVP and a future All-NBA first-teamer singing a cheesy song together in the locker room. This is what happens when two white guys take control of the NBA. It never ends well.

21. Frank Stallone -- "Far From Over"
Sly's brother sings the theme song for the impossibly bad "Staying Alive." And normally, that sentence would be funny enough in itself ... but you have to pay special attention to the way he plays his guitar. By the way, you're not a kid from the '80s if the instrumental part of this song doesn't make you think of Harry Shearer and Martin Short doing their synchronized swimming routine..

22. Boston 80's sports
A four-minute clip from Bob Lobel's outstanding end-of-the-decade sports special about 1980s Boston sports (one of my prized possessions from the VCR era). I love this clip because of the sheer volume of highlights (it's almost overwhelming) and the '80s gimmick (since extinct) of having a lame local singer tailor the words to a hit song (in this case, Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start The Fire") for a sports video (in this case, a retrospective of Boston sports in the '80s). Delightfully ridiculous. You even get a young Lobie at the end standing on the Charles River. Also, if you're not a Boston guy, you can find Warner Wolf's "Plays of the Decade" (fantastic '80s special) and ESPN's "Plays of the Century" on YouTube as well. I'm not doing all the work for you.

23. "Grand Theft Submarine"
Somebody took one of Adam Carolla's "here's an idea for a movie" rants on "Loveline," then made an elaborate (and outstanding) cartoon out of it. And you know what? This COULD have been a movie in the early '90s. Does anyone know if Seagal is busy? Actually, don't answer that.

(On a personal note, when we were working together at "Jimmy Kimmel Live," Carolla would pitch these crazy action movie ideas to the writers as we were trying to write jokes, with this being the best one ... and since he has no long-term memory, he would accidentally regurgitate the same 7-8 movie ideas every few months. So we had all heard this particular one 5-6 times, only each version was always a little different because he would forget the precise details. It was almost like seeing the Dead or Phish in concert, when you know the song but never know what direction they might go with it. Seeing this particular idea spring to life in an Internet cartoon was weirdly phenomenal.)

24. Pistons Pacers Fight (Detroit feed)
Just when you thought you had run out of ways to enjoy the Artest Melee, there's clips of the Detroit local-TV feed AND the ESPN feed out there. If this were World War 2, Ben Wallace was really the Japan of this whole thing.

25. Battle of the Network Stars
The prelude to the famous Gabe Kaplan-Robert Conrad 200-yard race (not available on YouTube for some reason) when Conrad (NBC's captain) is complaining about an illegal baton exchange or something and legitimately ends up flying off the handle -- with Telly Savalas, Bruce Jenner and Pat Schneider egging him on, no less -- culminating in Conrad crossing just about every line with a tasteless joke about Jews, Greeks and Germans. Once Robert Conrad got going, nobody was safe, folks. Every time I watch this clip, I feel like I just smoked hash that was laced with peyote acid.

(And just for the record, there aren't nearly enough "Battle of the Network Stars" clips on there. We need to see Randi Oakes and Charlene Tilton in the dunk tank; we need to see Scott Baio pulling a Gale Sayers in touch football; we need Billy Crystal tripping over the tires of the obstacle course; we need Dan Haggerty wreaking havoc ... I will not be happy until 50-60 clips are up there. Seriously. Let's get going, strange Internet people who take the time to put up YouTube clips.)

26. Beavis, Butthead and Hogan
Reason No. 534 why I love YouTube: Tons of Beavis and Butthead clips, including the Great Cornholio, Nose Bleed, Sperm Bank and other episodes. But this one features them watching Hulk Hogan's "Real American" video ... I mean, have you SEEN Hulk Hogan's "Real American" video? We need to see him and Frank Stallone battle in the Fake Guitar Playing Finals.

27. Karate Kid III
The trailer. I love how the narrator tries to sell this like it's a realistic plot. "The time has come when a student must question ... when the teacher must let go ... when a conspiracy is planned ... when a trap is set ..."

28. New England @ Denver Broncos
Everyone in Seattle is still complaining about the Super Bowl? Really? Watch the unedited feed of the Asante Samuel interference call again. Go ahead. Pay special attention to Samuel GETTING mugged (not doing the mugging) and the lateness of the flag from the back of the end zone, as well as Phil Simms' incredulous commentary. And after you're done with that, watch Champ Bailey fumble the football forward on the half-yard line and somehow not have it be called a touchback. Did we spend the whole winter and spring whining about this stuff? No. I'm just saying.

Steve Perry
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Steve Perry's hair is currently on display at the Smithsonian Institute.
29. Journey -- "Separate Ways"
A recipe for bliss: Take one of the cheesiest-yet-enjoyable bands of that era (Journey), bring them to an empty shipyard, have them play invisible instruments and lip-synch the hell out of their best song, throw in some ridiculous slow-motion closeups and multi-picture edits, and have a hot girl with a bad haircut walking around for no reason whatsoever. And if that's not enough, lead singer Steve Perry gives one of the greatest performances of the last 35 years -- he throws himself into this thing like DeNiro or Pacino. It's incredible. Everything about this slays me. If somebody gave me five minutes to sum up the '80s, I would just show them this video and be done with it.

(By the way, I mailed this to my buddy Geoff a few weeks ago because his high school prom date looked a little like Steve Perry. He called me a few days later just to say that he'd watched the video 12 times and was about to go back for thirteenths. It's that good.)

30. ESPN Top 10 NBA Fights
Maybe it's for the best that Kermit Washington-Rudy Tomjanovich didn't make the cut. But this should be an hour-long ESPN show as well -- you could cram 60-70 fights in there. My personal favorite was the one where Ken "The Animal" Bannister fought someone at MSG (I think it was Michael Cage) at midcourt for like 7-8 seconds before they tumbled over the scorer's table -- that thing was like Hagler-Hearns. And by the way, pay special attention to Doctor J peppering Larry Legend with cheap shots even though Moses and Barkley were holding Bird in a revese bear hug -- Doc was like the preppy loser in "Beautiful Girls" who beats up Matt Dillon as his buddies are holding Dillon's arms. What an outrage. I never liked Doc as much after that.

31. Namath-Kolber I
I'm calling this "Namath-Kolber I" just to leave the door open for the remote chance of a "Namath-Kolber II." You never know. Anyway, I keep waiting to get bored of watching this thing ... hasn't happened. My new favorite part is when Suzy throws it back to the booth and the ESPN guys do the good-natured, "Oh, that's just Joe being Joe!" routine. It's just too bad this didn't happen with Lisa Guerrero instead of Suzy.

32. The Second Greatest YouTube Clip of All-Time 
Well, unless you're a Yankee fan.

33. The Greatest YouTube Clip of All-Time
The only piece of video that comes even remotely close to explaining what it felt like to be sitting in Fenway after midnight on October 19, 2004. This clip gives me chills every time. Every time. God bless YouTube. God bless the Internet.

Bill Simmons is a columnist for Page 2 and ESPN The Magazine. His new book "Now I Can Die In Peace is available on and in bookstores everywhere.
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